It would be completely unreasonable for you to want your partner to open up about absolutely everything when you’re just starting to date. Of course, you have to give one another the time that you need to grow comfortable with one another before you can really trust each other. Ultimate trust isn’t earned in a day after all.
It’s continuously worked on and built over time. So it’s okay if your partner doesn’t want to open up about every single issue if you’re just beginning to get to know each other. However, as you get on with your relationship, you have to expect that your partner will gradually start to open up to you about sensitive matters. And if they just refuse to open up to you; if they just continue to stay closed off and emotionally distant,then perhaps it’s their way of telling you that they are never going to grow to become comfortable with you. If that’s the case, then you’re both just wasting your time with each other. Keep in mind that if you’re going to stay in a long term relationship, over time, not even the most sensitive matters on earth are going to be off-limits to you.
There should be practically nothing that both of you can’t talk about as a loving couple. That’s the essence of having open and honest communication in your relationships. That’s the essence of letting each other into your hearts. Of course, just because you’re in a long-term relationship doesn’t mean that you’re supposed to give up your individuality.
It doesn’t mean that you aren’t entitled to your secrets and your privacy anymore. You should still get to maintain your individuality even if you’re in an open and loving relationship. However, as you grow to really fall in love with someone, those walls are eventually going to have to come crumbling down. The best and strongest couples are the ones who are always going to be comfortable with talking about absolutely anything under the sun no matter how difficult it may be. But again, it’s not something that you can rush. But it’s not something that you have to wait too long for either.
So if you find that you’ve been in the longest relationship already and you feel like there’s still an emotional distance between you and your partner, then you have to consider the possibility that they are never going to open up to you. And when that happens, you have to express how you feel. And if they still can’t respond to your needs for openness, then maybe things just aren’t meant to be and you need to walk away from your relationship.
Here are 9 things that both of you should be okay with talking about in a healthy relationship:
1. Their true feelings for you.
You should always be entitled to know just how your partner feels about you. If their feelings about you aren’t as serious as you would like, then you should be able to talk about that.
2. Their visions of the future.
You have to talk about your future goals with your partner. You must also be able to know if your partner actually sees a future with you in it. Because otherwise, what’s the point of staying in your relationship?
3. Their stance on having kids.
With long-term relationships, you have to be able to talk about kids. Most couples go into long-term relationships for the purpose of procreation. And you have to be transparent to one another on this front.
4. Their financial situation.
A lot of people say that money doesn’t matter in long-term relationships. But that’s a very immature perspective to take on things. It’s absolutely essential for two people to come clean with one another about the state of their finances.
5. Their career plans.
You should both always be willing to talk about your career plans. You have to be able to keep each other in the loop about your work life. It’s all about ensuring fiscal security with one another as well as you move forward in your relationship.
6. Their family life.
You want to get to know your partner as much as possible. And part of being able to do that is getting to know what their home life was like growing up. Your partner should be comfortable with talking about their family with you.
7. Their own personal insecurities.
You have to grow comfortable with discussing your deepest fears and insecurities with one another. At the end of the day, you are partners and you are trying to help each other through life.
8. Their relationship history.
You don’t have to know all of the little details. But you are still entitled to knowing just what your partner’s relationship history looks like at a glance.
9. Their physical health.
If your partner is dealing with any real health issues, then you have the right to know about it especially when the illnesses are contagious in nature. There’s a reason why couples are asked to stay together in sickness and in health.