It’s very rare to find true love in this day and age. And that’s hard for a vast majority of us. As human beings, we are all wired to crave love in some shape or form. But unfortunately, not all of us are going to be privileged or fortunate enough to find love on our first try. In fact, a lot of us have to go through multiple failures at love before we get it right. And the failure that accompanies love is rarely ever simple. In fact, it’s just downright heartbreaking, devastating, painful, and humiliating.
Picture this scenario, you develop an interest in a person, and you decide to act on that romantic interest. And the two of you have some kind of connection with each other; so you decide to take that risk. And things are working out for the first part. You’re as happy as can be and you really start to invest yourself in that relationship. But then, things start to go south. You discover that your efforts might not be enough after all. You start to realize that you might not be cut out for love after all; that maybe your relationship was a bad idea, to begin with.
And so, despite your unwillingness to do so, you are forced to let go of that relationship. You are forced to say goodbye. And that makes you so sad because you see so many people around you who are finding success in their relationships. But here you are: having to say goodbye to one toxic relationship after another even after investing yourself in it. And that’s the problem: you keep investing yourself in the wrong relationships. You keep giving yourself to the wrong people, and that’s why you keep on getting hurt.
That’s why you shouldn’t be rushing into any kind of relationship whenever you get the chance to. Be patient. Wait for the one who is actually worth taking a chance on. Wait for the guy who is going to do these 8 things for you. Otherwise, it’s better for you to just stay single.
1. He devotes a lot of his time to you and the relationship.
If he is spending a huge bulk of his time on you and the relationship, then you know that you really mean a lot to him. He understands that in order for the relationship to work, it’s going to require a lot of his time and effort; and that’s why he isn’t afraid to spend a lot of his time with you.
2. He constantly prioritizes your well-being and comfort.
He always puts you first. He always makes sure that you are happy and comfortable; even if he has to put himself in a compromising position
3. He talks to you about his deepest feelings and emotions.
He opens up to you about himself. He really lets you into the most intimate aspects of his soul because he would never want you to feel like he’s shutting you out.
4. He makes you want to be a better person.
You need a man who actually brings the best out of you; a guy who is going to push you to be better. You always want to be with a man who actually motivates and inspires you to be the best possible version of yourself; someone who always propels you forward.
5. He accepts and loves all parts of you – even the imperfect ones.
He doesn’t hold back with his love for you. He is really in love with all aspects of who you are; even the parts that you think aren’t worth loving. He loves ALL of you – including the parts of you that are imperfect. He acknowledges that you are a flawed person and he still loves you because he knows that these help make up who you are as a whole.
6. He makes you feel like a genuine partner.
He always makes you feel included. He never acts without consulting you first. He never comes to terms on a decision without talking things out with you beforehand. He always makes you feel included in his life; as if you’re an active participant in the lives you share together.
Saying goodbye and letting go of someone can be difficult. In fact, it might be one of the most difficult things in the world to do. But you have to know that there is a consolation to being able to let go. When you are brave and courageous enough to say goodbye to someone, you are opening up a door for someone better to say hello.
This was something that I realized as I was going through my own personal struggles with letting go. I was feeling so empty and lost. There was just a hole in my life that was nagging away at my state of mind. I felt so terrible. For the longest time, I wasn’t okay. I knew that my life was less than ideal; and that I needed to get better. I desperately wanted to get better. I couldn’t bear the heaviness that I was feeling at that time. I couldn’t deal with the struggles of heartache and disappointment. I just couldn’t carry on that way. And that’s when I realized that I needed to have a change of mindset; a change of heart. If I wanted a change to come about in my life, I realized that it had to come from me.
I was holding on to a person who wasn’t worth holding on to. And it was killing me deep down inside. It was toxic. I was doing so much harm to my own self without my even realizing it at first. I thought that things would eventually get better so as long as I held on. I thought that there was something to be proud of in maintaining that strength; in holding on to him. I thought that there was something good that would come out of my idealism and my optimism; that eventually, things would change for the better. I was hoping that he would eventually become the man that I wanted him to be. I was hoping that one day, he would just wake up and everything would magically change for the better; that everything would be the way that I’ve always wanted it to be. It took me a while to realize that I was deluding myself with these comfortable fantasies. I realized that the storm that I was in would never pass; and that I was the one who needed to let go in order for me to find happiness again.
But I was afraid. I was too scared to let him go. I let my fear convince me that I needed to stay put right where I was. I had already invested too much of myself in this relationship. I had gotten my hopes up with him; and I was too afraid to confront the truth: that all of it was for nothing. I just didn’t want to have to bear with the idea of me failing; with the idea of me having my dreams crushed. And that was what kept me in that toxic relationship for so long. I was just never the type of person who liked to give up. I was persistent. I was resilient. I was always willing to commit. And I’m still that way today. But the difference now is that I’m more judicious with what I commit myself to. At that time, I was just being stubborn. At that time, I was just being hardheaded. I ignored all the red flags. I ignored my better judgment. I stuck with it knowing full well that it was bad for me. And that’s what made it so much harder for me to let go and say goodbye.
But fortunately (or unfortunately), I reached my breaking point. I eventually reached a point where I decided that I was being treated unfairly. I eventually came to the realization that all of my efforts were going nowhere; and that no amount of commitment in the world could turn him into the man that I wanted him to be – the man that I needed him to be. I knew that my mental health and emotional well-being were at stake, and I desperately needed to make a change. And that’s when I resolved to just let him go. I decided to cut that line. I decided to burn that bridge. I walked away and I never looked back. And now, I can honestly say that my only mistake was not doing it sooner.
I faced my fears and that definitely wasn’t easy. But that’s life You’re always going to have to face your fears if you want to find success. You’re going to have to put yourself in situations of discomfort if you want to grow. You’re going to have to let go of the past to make room for better things in the future.
7. He shows consistency and reliability in your relationship.
He really stays consistent with you. He always is reliable when it comes to you. He’s the kind of guy you can always count on to be there for you no matter how inconvenient it might be for him. He’s always going to show p and deliver for you. He’s a guy you can really trust.
8. He makes you understand what it really means to be in love.
You need to be with a man you can experience true love with. Love is the single most beautiful thing that you could possibly share with another person. And it’s not really worth having unless it’s with the right guy. And when you’re with the right guy, you’re going to discover just how wonderful love can be.