As human beings, we all want to be loved and appreciated. We want someone to love us for who we are. Because to feel loved means you’ve found your ground, you’ve found the person you belong with. The feeling that we are a significant part of someone’s life in itself is a beautiful feeling, and each one of us will want to experience it.
We look for partners, someone who we can connect with. We look for relationships in which two people are entirely head over heels for each other. We idolize relationships that are shown in movies, the perfect fairy-tale.
However, sometimes you only fall for someone you are not in a relationship with. The mystery what isn’t attained isn’t experienced is what gets the best of everyone. The mere infatuation and attraction give you butterflies, and you start believing that you are in love with them. Some instances make you feel that you are entirely into someone and you love your name being attached to them, but the reality is in contrast to it.
There are times when you know that you might be using someone like the back burner but aren’t aware of it. It is easier to replace someone’s rejection so you can gain someone else’s acceptance.
You don’t want to feel lonely, and therefore you will look for anyone who is ready to give you a little attention and confuse it with love. There is always a possibility that the person you are admiring and thinking to spend your life with is not the person you love. In fact, you like the thought of being with someone, the view of someone giving you attention and the impression that someone loves you and pampers you.
We usually perplex our mind with the idea of loving someone and having genuine feelings for someone. Below are specific points which act as red flags we need to look for and decide for ourselves that is it this person we want to spend our life with or are we being unjust to ourselves and him?
1. You miss him only when you’re alone
He doesn’t cross your mind the entire day. But, as soon as you are alone in the night and there is no one around you, you want him to be with you. It is not you miss him, but you are missing his physical presence. You miss being caressed and pampered. You are not missing his company but only the physical affection that you receive from him.
When someone truly loves the other person they want to spend most of their time with them. But if you don’t feel the need to hang out with him often, you don’t invite him for parties with your friends, or you don’t want to be around him when you are occupied, then you just love the idea of having someone in your life.
2. You fantasize about the future
When you are with someone, you should be so content in your present that you do not feel the need to fantasize about your future. There is not much to look forward to in your everyday relationship, and this makes you think about how beautiful your future would be with that person.
If you truly loved someone and were in a happy relationship, then you would have several such moments which you could rethink and blush. However, if you continuously plan your future adventures with him more than enthusiastically living your present, then he is surely not the one for you.
3. You compare the two of you to other couples
While being with someone who you don’t have real feelings for you will never be a happy individual or a couple. You will never be satisfied with the bond you both share. You will idolize all the couple around you and would want to be in a relationship as theirs.
The problem is not your relationship or the guy you are with; the problem is you forcing yourself to be with someone who you don’t want to be with. You are loving the idea of him and being in a relationship with him. It is doing you no good emotionally and physically. You can’t be with someone when there are no strings attached.
4. You begin to question what you deserve
When you try to spend your life with an idea of that person and not the person himself, then you question the way you are treated and what you deserve. You will never find satisfaction around someone who doesn’t have a deep place in your heart.
There will always be superficial affection which is never enough for a relationship to last. Whenever something makes you question your worth and instill the thought that you deserve better than what you have, it is high time to walk away from it. You cannot and should not settle for less. You deserve the best in this world.